Tuesday, December 30, 2008

WILD CARD WEEKEND -- Early Edition

SATURDAY JANUARY 03


Arizona +110
Don't get me wrong, the cardinals have been poo and ass the past four weeks, but in all honesty... what have they had to play for? Their division was clinched at 8-8 and knowing they weren't going to be getting higher than a #3 seed, the difference ultimately became playing the red-hot eagles, or playing the falcons (who have struggled on the road). Not to discredit anything that Atlanta has done this season, and as much as i really, really hate to say it, but Kurt Warner has been here before, and Matt Ryan (as phenominal as he is, and is going to be) has not.




Indianapolis -1.0
In most people's opinions, this could easily be the AFC Championship game, as both of these teams have been impressive closing out the season. Phillip Rivers holds the highest passer rating of any QB this season (not going to the pro-bowl), and Peyton Manning is a favourite to win MVP. What I am not happy about with this matchup is LaDanian Tomlinson. It seems almost deja-vu like with this "injury", and yet another perfect excuse, should the chargers lose. Forget about Peyton's four interceptions @ San Diego last year, because the chargers defense has shown all season long just how important Shawn Merriman is to their squad. A Berman-esque: Colts 37 - Chargers 17.
____________________________________


SUNDAY JANUARY 04


Baltimore -3.0
Defense wins championships. Plain, simple, cut and dry, and to the point. There really isn't much more to say about this game.




Philadelphia -3.0
The Eagles are hot, and looking much like the New York Giants of last season. The same giants that beat an undefeated super-team in the Superbowl. Minnesota just had trouble knocking off the giant's second unit. Two teams going in different directions if you ask me, and i will gladly take the eagles... Momentum can be a killer, and the eagles are flying (pun intended).

A day late, but what a Monday!

Rod Marinelli... obviously. Romeo Crennel... understandable. Eric Mangini... undeserving.



This is already old news, but I'm going to give it my two cents anyways. Rod Marinelli is a no doubter. 0-16 is inexcusable, and furthermore 1-23 in the past 24 weeks of regular season action (after starting the 2007 campaign 6-2) is just embarassing. The only reasoning i can see behind the delay in this move is not wanting to throw a new coach under the bus of this sinking ship known as the Detroit Lions. If you ask me, Marinelli doesn't deserve the full blame here as the whole front office needs to go. Maybe, hopefully, PLEASE... Someone light a fire under this organization immediately, and yes I'm looking directly at the Ford family.

Mr. Crennel, your services are no longer required. The front office did their part this off season, bulking up the defense and improving the offense, and yet the browns still couldn't win. After a breakout year, Braylon Edwards was nothing short of a complete bust. Derek Anderson showed his true flash-in-the-pan colours after getting his contract. Donte Stallworth was non-existant. Jamal Lewis stayed true to form, meaning when you completely write him off, he flourishes, but when he is projected to be great, he flops. Brady Quinn got his first NFL start, only to check down, and check down, and check down some more. Crennel seemed almost afraid all season long to open up the playbook and let his playmakers perform.

Eric Mangini, I am completely baffled. Taking a team from 4-12, to 9-7 is an impressive feat. On the other hand Wade Phillips completely lost control of his cowboys in the second half of the season, "leading" them to a 9-7 record (13-3 in 2007). I guess it is just one of those things I am going to half to chalk up to "not owning a NFL franchise"

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Holiday "Bowl" Season

Well, its that time of the year again. Good food, good brew, and about 25 or so college bowl games to look at during the next week and a half.

Here is my quick take on some of the action coming up: both BCS, and non-BCS bowls.

WISCONSIN VS. FLORIDA ST.

Line: Florida St. -5.5
Pick: Wisconsin +5.5


Wisconsin's defense is going to be just too fast for Florida St. Also look for the Badgers on the money line (+190).
_______________________

CALIFORNIA VS. MIAMI (FL)

Line: California -8.0
Pick: Miami +8.0


Both of these teams have looked utterly terrible at times throughout the season, especially in tough match-ups. Look for this game to come down to a field goal as 8 points just seems too much.
_______________________

OREGON VS. OKLAHOMA ST.

Line: Oklahoma St. -3.0
Pick: Oklahoma St. -3.0


This is purely a pick-em in my books. Both teams have played good ball all season long, however, I have to give the edge to the cowboys on this one. They had tougher matchups during the season, and were undefeated for a while (7-0).
_______________________

MICHIGAN ST. VS. GEORGIA

Line: Georgia -7.5
Pick: Michigan St. +7.5


Georgia has completely lost it. A team that was favoured to win the National Championship, loses a heart breaker in the final game of the season, and drops to #16 in the country.
_______________________

PENN ST. VS. USC

Line: USC -9.0
Pick: USC -9.0


USC owns the Rose Bowl. Period.
_______________________

MISSISSIPPI VS. TEXAS TECH

Line: Texas Tech -4.5
Pick: Texas Tech -4.5


With Graham Harrell being snubbed for a Heisman nomination (4747 YRDS. 41 TD), look for him to put up monster numbers. Unless there is something that I have completely missed here... This one is a steal.
_______________________

UTAH VS. ALABAMA

Line: Alabama -10.0
Pick: Alabama -10.0


From #1 in the country, to... Utah??? I would take 'Bama by a thousand in this game.
_______________________

OHIO ST. VS. TEXAS

Line: Texas - 8.0
Pick: Texas - 8.0


The most sought-after recruit since, well... ever, VS. the Heisman runner-up. Colt McCoy is good. Texas' defense is good. The line is good. If this gets any higher, I would stay away.
_______________________

FLORIDA VS. OKLAHOMA

Line: Florida -3.5
Pick: Oklahoma +3.5


BOOMER-SOONER... BOOMER-SOONER... BOOMER-SOONER
_______________________

So there you have it, and not only do I have the SOONERS to cover the 3.5 points, but I also believe that on January 08, 2008, they will be National Champions.

Monday, December 22, 2008

That Just Happened !!!

for the past few years, Wendy Northcut has comprised her annual "Darwin Awards." these typically highlight the the idiocy, and stupidity of... well, people. everyday people to be exact. people like you and me... though hopefully not you or me.


below are a few entries from 2008 - a la "top 5 darwin awards":


5. EARLY RETIREMENT PLAN:
(24 August 2008, Indonesia) Charles had everything going for him when he flew to Jakarta to visit his family. He had just completed his International Baccalaureate at King William's College in the Isle of Man, and his dreams were ambitious. In the school yearbook, he said he planned retire by the age of 30. The principal of the college later described him as "a very bright boy with a very bright future."

Unfortunately for Charles, his elite education omitted an important lesson from the curriculum: Electricity, danger of.

He had one foot in the backyard swimming pool (really!) when he noticed a cement box near the edge of the pool. It was full of electrical wires supplying power to the jacuzzi. Curious, Charles started to fiddle with a fistful of wires. He was immediately rooted to the spot by 240 volts of electrical current surging through his body.

Early retirement, indeed!

A post-mortem examination determined that Charles' death was "due to electrocution as a consequence of external grounding of current through the body while partially immersed in water." The 18-year-old's body was repatriated to the Isle of Man.




4. INTO THE ABYSS:
An enterprising lumberman had felled a large tree, and needed to haul it up a steep embankment. So he jacked up the rear end of his pickup and swapped one of the rear tires for a bare rim. He attached one end of a rope to the rim, and the other end of the rope to the felled tree. He put the pickup into gear, expecting the rim to act as a makeshift rope crank that would pull the tree up the embankment, saving him lots of sweat.

A great idea? Not if you're reading it here! You see, the tree vastly outweighed the truck. The man was standing with one foot on the ground and the other foot on the accelerator. When he gunned the engine, the tree acted like an anchor, and the truck yanked itself backwards. The open door rammed into him, and he was swept over the embankment along with the pickup.

When the dust settled, our lumberman had entered the great beyond. But his escapade served as a warning to others. The next lumberman cut up the tree where it lay, and carried it off.




3. PIERCED!:
(January 2008, Pennsylvania) A 23-year-old man with various body piercings wondered what it would feel like to connect his workplace test equipment to his chest piercings. Several co-workers tried to convince him that it was a bad idea to wire himself up to the electronic control tester, but he ignored their pleas.

He proceeded to connect two alligator clips to his piercings and hit the test button...

When the police and rescue personnel arrived, his co-workers were still trying to revive him with CPR and rescue breathing. They were not successful.




2. BONER!:
(2 February 2008, New York) A 50-year-old man was bird hunting in Upstate New York with his buddies and his faithful canine companion. They stopped for a smoke, and his dog found a deer leg bone!

The man tried to take the bone away, but like any right thinking dog, the animal would not relinquish its treasure. He stayed just out of reach. Frustrated with this blatant show of disobedience, the man grabbed his loaded shotgun by the muzzle and began wielding it like a club. Each time he swung it, the dog dodged.

Suddenly the "club" struck the ground and fired, shooting the man in the abdomen. He was airlifted to a nearby hospital, where he died from his injuries. He did remain conscious long enough to confirm this account to police; otherwise, his poor friends might now be under suspicion!

At least he didn't hit the dog.




1. NOT A SHRED OF SENCE:
The ambulance responded to a frantic call concerning a neighbor's trip through an industrial tree shredder. It seems the individual had decided to prune his own trees, rather than hire a professional. Why not? After all, the local shop rented shredders that could make quick work of yard debris, including tree limbs up to 8 inches in diameter.

To save time (those fateful words) the neighbor had placed the shredder at the base of a great oak tree, where he could drop branches directly into the hopper. He intended to cut off the top third of the oak, since it had been killed by lightning.

With the shredder running wide open, the neighbor climbed his ladder to the first tree branch, stepped off the ladder, slipped, and fell. The paramedics found him very dead, half in and half out of the shredder's hopper, one leg shredded to the hip.

Not married, no kids, removed self from the gene pool.




if these stories weren't so unbelievably hilarious, they would be extremely depressing and the fact that any of them have taken place, let alone even originated as an initial thought, is completely mind boggling.

a little piece of advice i am definitely not qualified to give...:

"if for any reason at all something seems even remotely a bad idea... it probably is"


i will leave you now with a quote from the late-great George Carlin:

"Just think how stupid the average person is,
and then realize that half of them
are even stupider!"

The Insight of Linus



happy birthday jesus, and merry christmas to everyone else.

Monday, December 15, 2008

worst sunday ever...

there will no longer be any more football predictions!

Sunday, December 14, 2008

final sunday thoughts


going big this week, and doing things i don't normally do... but hey you gotta test the waters sometimes, and i'm not just getting my feet wet here. we're jumping in head-first. (black i have no idea what the mexican equivalent to proline is or even what their odds would be, but get ready for next week cause this week is only going to look like batting practise once we get to DETROIT ROCK CITY)

PROLINE: 8-Gamer (that's right... an eight gamer on proline)
GB -3.0
MIA -6.5
TEN -5.5
KC +7.5
ARZ -5.5
BAL +2.5
CAR -8.5
NYG +3.0

-- eight gamer pays 150 X WAGER = MONEYNESS

... and the reason i have fallen in love with online gambling:

BOWMANS
GB -1.5
MIA -6.5
TEN -3.0
CAR -7.5
ARZ -3.0
OAK +6.5
NYG +3.0/+140

--

Round Robin 2/3 Parlay:
SF +220
STL +120
KC +210

* i know the SF bet contradicts the MIA bet. the round-robin 2/3 parlayis merely one of those long-shot lottery tickets... not a lot of money spent, but should it ever come through... well you get the picture. haven't really made a lottery ticket in about a year or so. this is gonna be a good week!


... oh, just one more thing... back on the proline train!

GB, STL, KC, TEN - 36.72 X WAGER = DY-NO-MITE!!!

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Week 15 -- -- -- Let's GO

fisrt and formost... FOLLOWING RULE #1 THIS WEEK -- NO LIONS...

... so i bit hard on a few of the early lines this week:
Tennessee -3.0 @ Houston
San Francisco @ Miami -6.5
Green Bay -1.5 @ Jacksonville



*not going to get into a lot of detail this week --> feeling extremely lazy


... as for tonights game, my initial instincts are the BEARS-3.0, and UNDER45.0

its gonna be a cold, windy, and possibly snowy night in chicago tonight. defence and special teams are probably gonna play a big role in the outcome tonight. if you are interested in some proline props:
INTERCEPTIONS - OVER 1.5
FUMBLES LOST - OVER 1.5
LONGEST PASS - UNDER 52.5 yards
LONGEST RUSH - OVER 28.5 yards



as bad as the raiders are, matt cassel is listed as 'questionable' this week for personal reasons. definately something to keep an eye on as the week goes on. Bill Belichick has been known to pull stunts like this (Tom Brady was listed as 'probable' for all of last season, and the majority of the previous one) so a decision probably wont be able to be made until game time. OAKLAND +7.5


ARIZONA -3.5 at home to the vikings (minus gus frerotte and jared allan).

CAROLINA -7.5 at home to the broncos. Denver put -yet another- running back on the IR, and with what these panthers did to the bucs defence last week... this could be a lions-esque game for broncos fans.

NEW YORK GIANTS +3.0 in dallas. The better teams will always bounce back after a tough loss... sorry cowboys, looks like those superbowl hopes will have to wait another year.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

how could i not be posting this.

so once again on my drive home from work, the dean blundel show came through with what could possibly be the best "news" story to come out of Hamilton/Burlington this year. Enjoy:


Man charged for smashing cars, brandishing champagne bottle at car lot
THE CANADIAN PRESS

BURLINGTON, Ont. - Police are investigating after a man went on a bizarre rampage Monday at a car dealership in Burlington, Ont.

A man allegedly used his pickup truck as a battering ram, smashing into five parked vehicles before driving the truck through the entrance of a Volkswagen dealership.

Halton Regional Police say the man then started urinating on parked vehicles before returning to his truck, grabbing a bottle of champagne and a glass and climbing onto the roof.

Police say the man was seen committing an indecent act and throwing objects at a bystander.
Officers arrived and the man was arrested without incident.

Guillaume Mercier, 36, of Hamilton was charged with mischief over $5,000 and committing an indecent act.
-


in case you might be curious as to what this indecent act might be... masturbation. yes after Guillaume finished urinating on the vehicles (both inside and outside of the dealership), he thought the only thing left to do was pop a bottle of champagne, and relieve a little stress.

this also goes to show the difference between the laws in Nebraska, and those in Ontario. now granted i am not entirely certain of the penalty for "committing an indecent act," but in my opinion, this is a far more relevant example of vandalism than leaving "ass-prints" on store-front windows.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

unreal, but not all that surpsising


so here it is, approximately 7:45am, and i am driving home from work, listening to the dean blundell show on the edge, when the "edge files" come on (dean's take on some of the more ridiculous headlines from around the world). today, i got to hear about the "butt bandit".
-

A vandal’s reign of terror hopefully came to an end on Wednesday morning, when a 35-year-old man was arrested for a series of grotesque, ass-related crimes in Valentine, Nebraska. Yes, they’ve finally caught the Butt Bandit.

In case you’re unfamiliar with the story, a man has roamed the streets of Valentine at night since Spring 2007, pressing his ass cheeks against the windows of local buildings and leaving a stain of petroleum jelly and lotion. Churchs, schools, businesses—no plate of glass was too sacred for the Butt Bandit. One night, he even managed to leave his assprint on every window of a hotel. Damn you, Butt Bandit! Always one step ahead!

While the suspect’s identity has yet to be released, the culprit (based on a blurry security cam image) was described as a thin man over six feet tall with dark “1980s, feathered” hair. While we’d love to see a mugshot (Feathered hair! Yes!), Scandalist also hopes they take a photo of his Prince/Fartman-style assless pants.

If he wasn’t wearing assless pants, we’re very disappointed.


-www.scandalist.com

that post was written in late september of this year, and since then, this man had been sentenced to a year in jail. ONE YEAR IN JAIL. he didn't graffiti up any private property. he didn't cause any physical damage to any of these establishments. he merely left a "greased up but-print" on a window.

im not saying that i would ever be the guy to clean that shit up, but to spend a year in jail for something that can be resolved as easily as: spray, spray - squeegie, squeegie, seems a little over the top.

so my congratulations to Valentine, Nebraska for clearly having their priorities straight. could you imagine what the sentence would have been had he defaced a corn-field???

A Great Start... WOW!!!

to say 3/6 is acceptable would be an understatement. especially given the fact that i really didn't throw any hard evidence or reasoning into the colts pick. and here it is, another tuesday morning, and i'm already looking at the plays for the upcoming week.

tennessee is good. plain and simple.

indianapolis is poised, once again, to make a nice playoff run.

chicago is... well they are taking advantage of favourable matchups and getting the job done.

last nights game was the exact OPPOSITE of anything i could have ever imagined it being. how 10-7 at the half, turns into a 38-23 romping, given the stingyness of both defences, is completely beyond me.

and for detroit... ahh detroit. really. do i have to say anything else.
-

keeping this one short and sweet

Thursday, December 4, 2008

... so without further ado

WEEK 14 of the NFL begins toinght in San Diego, California, and i for one could care less. these two hopelessly, hapless, lackluster, busts of professional football teams, have done nothing but dissapoint for 13 weeks, and week 14 will be no different. i don't even know why i am wasting my time even talking about this game as the line ranges from -9.0 to -10.0 for the home team who has every capability of crushing this once stout oakland pass defence. the safest money of the night is to leave this one alone.

FOUR BANGERS:

jacksonville @ chicago -6.5: i really REALLY like the bears in this one. At home, playing to stay in the hunt for a division title (the only way any team from the north is going to make the playoffs) against a jacksonville team who last monday not only lost to houston, but did so without any fight, or emotion. it appears that the 2008 jaguars have packed it in for the season, and with the bears fighting for their playoff lives... BEARS -6.5

cleveland @ tennessee -13.5: now i have friends who will religiously look for a big spready and jump all over the dog. im sure that 8-9/10 times that theory is pretty sound. but when you see a jugernaut like what these titans have become, matched up againt a gritty cleveland team that has lost its grit, well 2 touchdowns at home doesnt seem all that extraordinary. if there is anything that frightens me about this game, i have but 2 scenarios: joshua cribbs, and the new york football giants. cribbs has the big play ability to take any punt, kick return, end-around, or reverse all the way to the house, and with cleveland pretty much playing only for respect these days, i can see them pulling out all the stops... and gadget plays. the new york football giants suffered their only loss of the season to these browns in week 6 on monday night. cleveland has the ability to win the big game, especially if they are over looked. but after the way tennessee dismantled the lions last week (on a short week) i don't see them overlooking any team regardless of record. TITANS -13.5

minnesota -10.5 @ detroit: before i get started with this game. if you are able to find a line for this game you are in luck, as many online sites aren't even offering this game as an option. MINNY -10.5 is courtesy of proline.ca, and even that may not be up there for much longer. either way... one of my only rules regarding gambling: "never bet for, or against your team" seems pretty straight forward and easy to follow, yet i can't help myself this year. yes, i am a lions fan (as he hangs his head in shame), and as much disappointment as they have brought to me this year; their spreads have been nothing but favourable all season long. detroit is quite content finishing in last place this season, and none of the players, coaches, or even front office appear to be all that concerned about the possibility (reality???) of a 0-16 season. two words for this game: Adrian Peterson. VIKINGS -10.5

tampa bay @ carolina -3.0: welcome to the congested NFC south, and a battle for first place. i'm looking for the trend in this division of the home team reinging victorious to come to an end on monday night. tampa has the faster, and more consistant defence... and lets face it jake delhomme isn't the same quarterback that took the panthers to the superbowl in 2004. he is inconsistant, and to a certain extent, down right terrible when faced with quick, and uncommon defensive fronts. on the opposite end of the spectrum, jeff garcia has shown an uncanny cool under pressure this year, making little to no mistakes, and guiding this tampa offence to a very respectable 9-3 record. the running lanes will be shortened for both teams. the passing windows will be limited. defence is going to play a HUGE role in this game and well... the numbers just dont lie. BUCS +3.0; +155 $-line


-- i've been juggling the bengals/colts game back and forth in my head the entire day... indy -13.5... no, no, cincy +13.5. cincy is terribly... indy is still hurt (sanders, bracket, saturday)... indy is rolling... i personally can't see going with three large spreads in one week, but right now everything is telling me indy -13.5. come sunday my mind might be changed, but these colts are turning it on, and they are for real, and lets face it the bengals... well, at least they're not the lions.

untitled... mfc???


alright, the admiral is in.


what we have here is a very futile attempt to keep busy during "down time." the only thing that should be counted on as being "regular" is my use of quotation marks, and some "insight" into the upcoming week in football (starting in week 14 is always a good way to win fans).


aside from that, pretty much any time i have anything to say; be it insightful or completely trivial, i now have my forum.


... and as soon as i can figure out some of the intrical parts of this particular "blogspace," additions will be a plenty.